Not This

Elizabeth Gilbert has a Facebook post titled – Not This

It’s about not knowing what you want or what you should be doing other than NOT THIS.

Danielle LaPorte, my other wise woman has recently talked about burning down the barn to the studs. To it’s foundations. Sometimes you have to do that, even in the midst of NOT THIS.

I go out to dinner with a couple of my dear Artsistas.  Over shared pizza, we discover we are all feeling NOT THIS.  What once served us well, no longer fits.  Things don’t feel like we thought they would once we got there. We feel lost and everything feels like NOT THIS.  For me, it’s changing the way I draw. I’m feeling called to more raw life drawing, strong warrior women figures, using my personal symbology more boldly. And bringing my writing, my storytelling, into my artwork more. Because what I am making now is my past.  And my past has become achingly NOT THIS.

We talk about all the ways NOT THIS is repeating for us. Sometimes over and over.  The universe needs to repeat it to us, to make sure we are learning the lesson.  Continually turning us away from the wrong thing.

As we wander back to the dim lights of the car park, we continue to talk about it.  We begin to see ways out. Directions to turn towards.  Ways to let go instead of holding on.  How our history has shown us NOT THIS before. We know what NOT THIS feels like.  And we know you have to move through NOT THIS regardless of how hard it is, to get to OH YES, THIS.

It’s 10 o’clock on a work night. I’m standing in a car park, cold but not wanting to end the conversation.  It will be 11 o’clock before I crawl into bed. But I don’t care.  I don’t get to see these girls often enough, because… Life.   But when I do, I am reminded why they are my kindreds.  My cup feels full to overflowing and the feeling lasts for days and weeks afterwards.  They give me direction when I feel lost.  I laugh with them. Because of them. That soulful “laughing through the hard stuff” kind of laugh.  The “did you just say that” laugh.  The “I hope the next table didn’t hear that” laugh.  They are wise and funny and generous. And I couldn’t do this whole art & writing thing without them.  Not just these girls. There are others too.  That’s hard for me to admit. To say out loud. I’ve been an independent girl since childhood.  I had to be.  It’s hard for me to let people in.  But, I know walking deeper into the forest would be so much harder without them.  Even though I have to walk into the forest alone.   Because NOT THIS, is a quiet reckoning you have to have on your own.  But being surrounded by the right people can arm you with a sword and shield as you walk into the battle.

I feel creatively braver because of them. I feel willingly vulnerable in front of them.  I grow a little more as a person each time I see them. Each time I message them.  They are my people. They are my kindreds.

If you are on this creative path and are trying to walk deeper into the forest; to swim out into the deep – do anything you can find them. Your kindreds.  They can’t walk the path with you, but they can help you become the person you will need to be.  They can help you see the light at the end of NOT THIS.

Coral xo

 

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Sketchbox Unboxing February 2018

My Artsista and creature conjurer Laurie from My Little Creatures gifted me a three month subscription to Sketchbox for my birthday.   Yes, she got me three months of birthday presents!  Now you know why I love her so much.  Sketchbox is a surprise box of supplies that magically show up on your doorstep.  And she got me the premium boxes which means full size products.

It took me a little while to even get into the box.  I’m not gifted at opening packaging. I’m more of a rip tear bust kinda girl. But I managed to get into it eventually. It was my first box, so I got excited about everything.  Even the marketing material!

I’ve got two more boxes coming my way. I’ll share those with you too.

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The Shrine of Creativity

Art creativity shrineThe vague idea of a shrine has been haunting me for a little while.  Some of my art SHeroes have them – next to their workspace, throughout their house, as part of their classes.  It feels like something I need to surround myself with.  Not because it’s something pretty other people do.  It has begun to feel important.  Like an element I’ve been missing.   Like something I need to gather as I walk deeper into the forest.  As I swim out into the deep.

I consider dowel and branches and hoola hoops – to hover overhead as I work.  Symbology and lights hanging down, casting their light over me.   I search on Pinterest for Shrines.  Many are based around Wicca and tarot.  Some call to me, some are dark.  Too dark.  But none of them are what I am imagining.  I am going to have to make this up as I go along.  Maybe that’s the best way to make a shrine?

I decide to use the writing table I never use for writing.  It sits next to my  art table, part of my creative space and yet it’s been ignored.  Holding space for my writing.  But I never write there.  Instead, I sit on the floor against the lounge, wedged between the entertainment unit and the coffee table.  But somehow, that’s what works for me.  That is where I write.

Art creativity shrineI begin awkwardly, painting a dowel and adding hanging brackets over my inspiration boards.  I clear the table, wiping away the dust of neglect and begin to add elements.   I go to bed the first night, thinking my shrine is totally lame.  That I’m no good at this.  That other people make it look so easy and mine looked so empty.  There is no soul, no connection to what is sitting there.  It just sits on the table looking back at me, a little bewildered it has been moved there.  But I wake up the next morning, remembering the elements I wanted to add.  I realize what I have in my art room, hiding on shelves.

Books by art SHeros, books about walking my own path, books open to pages that speak to me.  Truthbomb Cards by Danielle LaPorte and Journalling Cards by Orly Avineri – my version of creative tarot.  Candles gifted to me by friends and bell fairy lights – lighting my way, illuminating my path.  Personal symbology scattered through it.  Original art from art idols.

Art creativity shrineAnd in the end, it becomes a truthful honouring of my creativity.   Each element is so very me.  It’s scary how powerful it feels.  Like genuine magic.  Like I’ve let out the genie, but I am scared to make my 3 wishes.  I stay away from the room for a day, like I’m overwhelmed with the energy.

I may change it, so it stays the powerful talisman it feels like now.  So it doesn’t become stale.  I may change it with the seasons.  But for now, I wait.  For how the powerful conjouring seeps into my creativity.  For where it will lead me.  For who I become and who I leave behind.

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Retreating into autum

Retreating into AutumnAutumn is my season.  When the weather cools, I retreat.  Into what feels like home.  Into myself.  Warm clothes, snuggling under blankets, sleeping in.  It has become my time to look at my year so far, and to look at myself. Who I am. How I feel about my external world and inner self.  It’s much less brutal than new year resolutions. That time of year feels like looking at all your faults.  Like you are broken and need fixing.

But Autumn… Autumn is about reflection and growth.  About finding clarity and shedding what no longer serves me.  Letting my leaves fall, exposing my branches.  Exposing myself to the bones.  To my deepest truths when everything else is stripped away.

For me, the stripping away has been simple things like clearing clutter from my house.  Old clothes.  Things that haven’t moved from their place in the cupboard for years. Things covered in dust.  Moving boxes never opened again.  Art supplies I never use.  It’s also about people.

In the last year, I’ve begun to learn about self care.  About putting myself first, not last.  That my choices, my wants, are as important as others.  Understanding the desperate need to be protective of who I allow into my space and how I let people effect me.  How easily wounded I am by other people, regardless of my feelings towards them.  For a long time,  wanting to be liked (because we all want to be liked) was so important, I didn’t even consider if I liked them. If they were really my people.  The need for friends has transformed into feeling fiercely protective of myself.  Danielle LaPorte talks about having a wide open heart, but a big f*cking fence.  My fence has been easily pushed through in the past.  But now, I’m fortified baby.

I’ve begun cleaning out social media accounts.  Unfollowing, unfriending.  If you aren’t part of my close inner circle – gone.  If it doesn’t make my heart soar just seeing the word, the name – gone.  The idea of keeping your circle small has become a necessity for me.  The online clutter has been distracting me from what’s important.  It’s been clouding my priorities and has dragged me badly off track.  Pinterest does not = being creative.  What it really is, is hiding.  Hiding from the work I need to do.  Hiding from making ugly art but in the process, I deny myself from the breakthrough I’m desperately craving.

My Autumn is going to be especially reflective this year. I’m feeling aware of my mortality in a different way than I ever have before.   I’ve been holding myself back for a long time. Because of wounds inflicted by others.  Because I haven’t truly known myself.  I thought I did but I am discovering it was only in the shallowest of ways.  By flooding myself with outside influences, I was drowning out what I needed.  What was calling to me.

Looking at your mortality, at the ridiculousness of playing small, makes you look at things differently. I’m only just starting to comprehend the impact of it all.  And I don’t like what I’m beginning to see.  How did I let myself be pulled so far away from my truth.  From my path into the forest.  How did I become so lost?

And so, the retreat of Autumn begins.  I don’t know if it will extend into winter? It might.  Maybe it needs to.

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The Do Over

I’ve been hearing the calling to write and that includes coming back home.  To my word haven.  To my blog.

I look back on previous posts, remembering I never wanted to write like “the cat in the hat”. But I can feel there was something missing. I was still holding words back. Hiding.  Finding my way. Finding my voice.  A way to put my melodramatic heart on the page.

But, in the last 12 months, I have been compelled to say out loud…

I AM A WRITER.

After reading Susannah Conway’s book “This I Know” and the posts that accompany the artwork of Orly Avineri and Erin Faith Allen, I know I can no longer hide.  I can no longer dabble in the shallows.  Speaking barely above a whisper for fear of being denied my space at the table.

And so, I will start over.  With brutal truths. With raw words so deeply bound in truth they take my breath away.  This is my space. I am declaring it.  I want to document the wholeness of my universe.

I am craving swimming out into the deep and diving under. More so than ever.

My art is aching for change.  For rawness.  Truth.  Realism.  For a brutality that I have no idea how to conjur.

My book, abandoned in doubt, is calling me back.  Demanding I finish what I started.  Telling me this is more important than I can understand right now.  That its a part of my unfolding.

My words and thoughts here are forever changed.  I hope you visit here and are forever changed too.

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Art is You Qld – Day 2

Sallianne, our cheerleader of the weekend is discussing being bold and fearless this morning and encourages us to do this in our everyday as well as in our classes.  I know how it feels to hide in my comfort zone and in what’s familiar.  She’s right and I know I need to dig into this more.

“The mane is the main thing”

What the what?  Only something you could hear in a DeMeng class for the Cowardly Lion.  When I came home with my two plastic lions and asked my husband to cut their heads off – he wasn’t disturbed at all.  Instead, his reply was simply “I know whose class this is for”.

Art is You - Michael DeMeng classIn class, I fight with those damn lion heads for a while, trying different things to get them to come together.  Masking tape – Nope.  What about clay – nope. Okay, glue -nope.   Eventually, Michael gets hardcore and just drills their heads which I fiercely wire together.

It reminds me there are many ways to get to your end goal.

And sometimes it takes a few tries to get there.

In art and in life.

I only do assemblage when I’m in Michael’s classes.  We talk about this and he points out that I use a lot of the techniques in my art journal and the click happens.  It all starts to fall into place.  Like the last number in a combination lock.

One of the most beautiful things about the classes here, isn’t the classes.  Its hearing about the evolution of the teachers as artists, their ideas on art and creativity, the moments you get to share with them one on one.

Michael DeMeng Art Is YouI spoke to Michael about things I had carried with me from his previous classes.  How a two day class with him about 7 years ago was so worth it because of the 1 sentence I took away from it.  Yes 1 sentence.  1 art changing sentence. Because classes aren’t just about the techniques or the project you do on the day.

Sometimes it’s one moment in the whole day that changes you.

The way you think about art or the direction you go in.  It expands your thinking and you can never go back.   We talk about how much I’ve grown and changed as an artist since our last class at AIY two years ago and I feel seen and heard.  The teachers are like that here.

At night, I do a mini class with Kecia.  I’m not sure about this one because we are using products I’ve never used before.  But the end result looks awesome, so I’m being brave.  Bold and fearless as Sallianne encouraged us in the morning.

We make our own moulds and cast resin.  My mind is blown.  My art sister sitting next to me is buzzing about all the things we can do with this.  We decide we have a new obsession and wonder how we can get the next 2 months off from our day jobs to complete all the projects we are dreaming up.

Kecia is soldiering on through a cold and dealing with a class of over tired students.  We are like 5 year olds who have just had a red cordial.  In this moment, she is more of a wrangler than a teacher.

I tumble into bed, exhausted in the best way.  Desperate for sleep but my mind full of a million possibilities…  I drift blissfully between asleep and awake.

Coral.

Did you miss my wrap up of day 1?  Read about it here.

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Art Is You Qld – Day 1

Andrea class 2016I booked Art Is You over 6 months ago.  And I had been gathering supplies for my classes for the last 2 months.  Finally –  it was time to dive into the adventure.

As I walked through the corridor, I saw Sallianne the Energizer bunny organizer of this event and her right hand gal Linda who was soldiering on through a cold. Oh those beautiful smiling faces.

I was greeted with joy in their voices and a little bit of sassy teasing.  The kind that makes you feel loved.

As I checked in, I saw 2 girls I became friends with at the last AIY.  Hugs and excited giggles follow and I am reminded of the un-advertised elements of AIY.   The connections and friendships it fosters.   The safe place we are in, where we can step into our creative courage and let the everyday fall away.

We aren’t mothers, wives or day job girls anymore.

I say hello to a girl looking a little lost.  She’s here for the first time and is on her own.  I ask her what classes she is doing (the obvious but perfect AIY conversation starter) and introduce her to a friend.  Before long her nerves give way to laughter.  I hope she makes the kind of friendships I have here.

As I wander around the room, I catch up with my Art Sisters.  My cheerleading girl squad. I renew connections with girls I’ve met before and we all instantly feel like long lost cousins at a family reunion.

We begin our classes by ascending the swirling staircase.  Teachers and fellow students helping carry each others supplies up the stairs. No pushing, no rushing.  Just gentle giggles and nervous banter.  Gosh I love the vibe here.  Why can’t it be like this in real life?  The world would be a much better place for it.

Andrea 2016

I’m in Andrea Matus DeMeng’s class today.  Photos do not do her work justice. They are drowning in colour and depth and symbology.  Andrea is a beautiful gentle soul.  Her voice is very calming and zen but she also makes us giggle at our nerves as she pushes us through our comfort zones. She calls it ‘pushing us to our edges’.  By the end of the day we are all exhaustedly happy and tiredly glowing.  I am in love with what I’ve made and jealous of what the others have made at the same time.  And I’m in awe of Andrea as a teacher. This quietly spoken soul has broken her work down into achievable steps.  She has pre-empted our fears and voiced them before we could. Reassuring us ‘we got this’. She helped students all at different levels of experience, all making very different pieces navigate our ‘stuck’ moments.  Our ‘mine sucks’ moments. The ‘I don’t get it’ moments.  She navigated it all, floating through the group quietly offering her art theory, explanations and guidance.  She shares some beautiful words with me about my work and it fills my heart to overflowing.  It is such a generous gift from her and I am teary with gratitude.

At night there is more catching up at the art trunk.  Attendees laying their creative heart out on little tables, for sale.

We mingle, catching up on what we made in class that day, discussing art with those bravely selling their pieces.

My night closes with 6 of us scattered around a friends room, sitting on the floor, on kitchen chairs, on a couch and a fold out bed.  We are eating cheap pizza, making fun of “The Batchelor” and telling stories.  I laughed until my sides hurt.

And I am reminded, sometimes it’s not the classes that create the best memories but the friendships.

I fall into bed, tired but with a heart overflowing from a day of creative living and dear treasured friendships. At the dawn of day two, I giggle in the dark, thinking of our conversations last night.  I heart these moments and these girls so hard.

 

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The shift.

Wild Girl1I’m calling it The Shift.

I haven’t blogged for most of the year but I have been art journalling…  And while each page has been an adventure in learning and I’ve been growing, I also know something has been missing.   I’ve felt it for a long time but couldn’t put it into words. It was feeling first level.  Like I was floating on the surface of a lake, right near the shore.

But I’m craving swimming out to the deep and diving under.

Swimming deep with the beams of sunlight illuminating my way.  Wrapping myself around the roots of submerged branches.  Seeing if I can hold my breath long enough to touch the bottom.

Wild Girl5I’ve craved having my own style and personal symbology from the first moment I fell back into creativity as an adult.  But the craving has turned into an ache in the last year or so. I’ve been working really hard to figure out what that means for me.  The fog of confusion and searching and longing has begun to make way for clarity and depth and connection to my creative mind.  The hurt and jealousy of art friends who had already found their signature style has made way for feeling like I am part of a connected sisterhood.  That we are all exploring the same path, seeking and making in an authentic way.  Once you get even a tiny glimpse of it; of your work feeling bound in truth; you can’t go back.

I can’t just make pretty things anymore.

Wild Girl3As this started to happen, other things began to happen too.  The distractions began to disappear. I know what media I want to play with, so I no longer crowd my art space with the latest products that never get opened.  I’m not distracted by the latest online class all my friends are taking.  I don’t replicate popular images because I can hear my inner voice saying that is not who I am.  And I am pulling away from my teachers to go exploring.  To explore all the things that are calling to me.  Suddenly  there are so many things calling to me.  And every one of them feel so true to who I am.

And all this has tumbled over into the rest of my life too. Trivial friendships and acquaintances have been allowed to just fall away. I have stripped back my social media  so only the “oh yes” images and people remain.  My day job has become a momentary distraction until I can come back to my truth.  I am choosing making and writing over vacuous TV.  I am putting myself and what I want first instead of last.  I’m practicing bravery to step out of my comfort zone for amazing soul fulfilling experiences.

All this from taking a step out into the deep end of creativity.

Wild Girl4It can be scary to go on this adventure.  What if I don’t find what I’m looking for?  What if it’s not out there?  What if it doesn’t exist?  But what I found was so much more than I could have expected.  It is soul fulfilling to the point I feel like I am overflowing.  I am feeling pure bliss so often I think I might be glowing some days.  I feel like I am finding a deeper meaning.  To art, yes.  But also to creative living in the every day.  To how I spend my time.  To what I let be of importance. That is such a special lesson that has come from this.  One I really needed.

I couldn’t have possibly imagined all this beautiful unfolding when I first began to swim out into the deep.  When I chose to dive under.

Here’s to bravery.  To having the courage to dive deep.  And to the unfolding that comes from it.

Coral. XO

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The life and art lessons I learned from 2015

Wonderful

A page in my ‘Dream Big’ A3 journal

Have you heard the saying ‘Some years ask questions and some years give answers?’

2015 has been a learning and growing year for me. It’s involved some personal epiphanies and transformations as well as some hard decisions.  And along the way, I’ve learned lessons that will follow me into 2016 in the best way – I can feel something great is coming.  And I’m so ready for an amazing year.

life lessons…

be selfish (in a good way).  When you give give give; when you go beyond expectations – not only do people not appreciate it, sometimes they start to expect it. And then you start to feel resentful. Unacknowledged. Taken for granted. Shoved in the corner.  Because you are. It’s a real girl thing, isn’t it?  Putting others first.  So now I’m setting boundaries. Putting my needs first sometimes instead of always last.  Saying no.  And guess what?  The world hasn’t ended.  And I feel like I am living instead of giving everything I had to others with nothing left for myself.  And doing that has given me so much.  I will never, ever go back. Sometimes the world just has to cope without you.

sometimes you need a time out (even when you are a grown up).   For a few years I would get up at 4am to blog (because you are supposed to blog every week according to the experts).  And I would feel like I ‘had to’ do art and read other blogs because that meant you were creative and it would give me something to blog about.  But when you are that busy, it’s busy in a bad way.  And when you are bad kind of busy, you don’t leave room.  Room for new ideas. For listening to what is truly calling to you. For following new paths just to see where they go.  This year I’ve rediscovered that taking time, making that space, can be divine.  Kind of like when you break up with a boyfriend and suddenly you get to know yourself as a person again.  Ahhh… Clarity.  It’s like a renewal isn’t it?

social media is for me (not another expectation to live up to or another chore on the to do list).  I’m pretty new to Facebook. So I’m still figuring it all out but I learned some things this year. Social media is for me. So I refuse to feel obligated to other people. Don’t friend me then ignore me. If you friend me, I’ll cheer for you and leave thoughtful comments. Since you friend-ed me, I kinda figure you’ll do the same.  If not…. See ya.  I am no longer leaving comments out of obligation.  I will never participate in backhanded posts (I know most of you wont share this… Posts yuck!). I’m using social media in a way that is small and tight knit. That is full of cheerleading and genuine comments and kindred spirits only.  No friend collectors allowed.  No people chasing fans with nothing to give in return.  It’s called social for a reason, people.  I’ve gleefully unfriended and unfollowed.  Feels kinda powerful to decide who you want in your circle.

people show up how they can (which isn’t always how you want them to).   I’m an organized person. I’m a person of my word.  I can be a perfectionist and I set really high expectations for my self, for experiences and of other people.  But sometimes people just can’t meet those expectations. They are the person who is always running late or changing their mind. They are parents or don’t have day jobs so they can’t always commit to things the way I can. And sometimes their personality is just really different to mine.  I was letting that get to me.  Then like the song from Frozen… I let it go. I had to accept people are who they are. I could either push people away or I could accept them as they are, while still respecting myself and my own boundaries.  Win-Win.  Ooh, I feel like a grown up.

Art lessons…

practice really does make you better (who knew?)  you really do have to do the work. Which of course, none of us want to hear.  I’ve made some awkward art this year which can be hard when you just wanna be awesome. But every now and then I had a breakthrough. A page I was so crazy proud of.  Discovering elements that I just know are now a part of my signature style and my personal symbology. I cannot tell you the joy I’ve gotten from those moments. The deeper connection it’s given me. Once you have it happen, you crave more.  I will be chasing more of them in 2016.

kindred spirits make you a better artist (and a better person).  This year I’ve had art girl breakfasts by the beach on a Sunday. I’ve done art in the park on a blanket.  On a Monday.  (Art on a work day is a divine indulgence, let me tell you).   And I’ve stayed up until after midnight on a work night talking creativity as we worked in our journals. I’ve had a mentor say words that made me believe my art dreams were not just achievable but challenged me to dream even bigger.  I’ve dreamed out loud with these girls. I’ve messaged them with ideas and breakthroughs and doubts. We’ve cheered each other on. I’m seeing art and creativity so much deeper because of these girls. I’m peeling back layers to find my truth and am a better person for it, as well as a better artist.   I’m feeling more sure in who I am. There is a serenity, a knowing that is so blissful (that’s what Firelight feels like).  And these girls have been such a significant part of that. Seriously – I don’t think I could have done it without them.

stop hiding (that is where the connection is).  This year I’ve pulled away from my teachers and gone on a path to discovering my signature style and my own symbology. It’s easy to hide. Hide in art lessons from your teachers. Hide in replicating what you have already done.  Hiding in repetition and your comfort zone.  But you don’t grow there.  You can’t be fulfilled and hide at the same time. I cannot even explain what it feels like when you connect to your art. To the story, the symbology, the deeper meaning. This year I must have said ‘I can’t just make pretty things anymore’ a million times.  Once you understand how deep art can been, how connected and meaningful it can be, you just cannot hide in the shadows of comfort anymore.  You cannot go back.  You just couldn’t bare it.

learning in a thousand different ways.  My creative view grew so much this year because I grew my list of people to learn from and be influenced by. I did weekend retreats and online workshops.  I bought new art books and mini documentaries. I was determined to figure out my signature style and symbology by looking to my art SHeroes.  Really looking into why I connected to their work.  I did a class with one of my art friends – she taught me and I taught her – which was kinda awesome and crazy and so enlightening.  Highly recommend it.  All of these things have given me deeper influences, clarity on what I wanted more of in my own work and new ways of working.  Transformative.  Truly, truly.

So many people I know had a complicated 2015.  Big lessons.  Awkward beginnings.  Hard endings.  I’m guessing it’s all leading into a year of answers for 2016.  Where all this learning and growing manifests.  Into being in the right place at the right time.  Into a less complicated, more beautiful life.

And into dreams coming true.

Coral xo

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Guided by Stars

Guided1There is a beautiful idea of making dreams come true by journaling about them – mystically manifesting your dreams into reality.

Anahata Katkin has talked about it.  And so has Jane Davenport.

I have an A3 journal I was given – because who would be brave enough to buy one that size!  Madness I tell you, madness.  But secretly, I am madly in love with it.  I have named her my Big Dreams journal.  Because if you are going to dream, you may as well dream big, right?

My first dreaming page came about because I kept imagining an upturned face.  It’s a big challenge for me after working on straight on faces for the last two years.  But I’m really feeling the pull to spread my wings.  To go beyond where I have found my comfort.  I am craving artistic growth.

Guided2I started with rubbing the page on my craft sheet that had some cream paint.  Still like a blank page, but without the intimidating white space.  Then I did gelli prints with a stencil.  Such a cool way to get lots of colour on the page.  I print from the gelli plate and also spritz with water on the actual stencil for the reverse print.  It gives a really nice water colour effect.

I also added neocolour crayon in washes as well as drawing direct on the page and rubbing with my fingers.  And I added a big section of purple – I’m kind of obsessed with big blocks of colour like that.

Guided4Then the drawing.  I used a reference from Pinterest – my go to place.  And with a few rub outs, she turned out really well.  I worked around the hair amongst the purple.  I was kind of wishing I’d left the purple until later so I could have painted around her, but in hindsight, I actually loved having to work around it.  How the hair got drawn in white over the purple.  It felt so much more organic and it’s like you can tell it evolved as I worked on it.  You can see the page unfolded.  Which is a big deal for a plan-a-holic.  For a perfectionist.

Guided3I made a little mini journal card that folds so I could write some words on the back.  I love the journal writing on this part.  Another happy accident.  Unplanned.  Just going with it as it happens.

I replicated this journal page and this little fold out on a little piece of card and filmed it (woo woo).  One of my goals for the year was to do You Tube videos.  A big leap of faith.  A step forward on the art adventure.  Something to make me grow and push my art.   You can watch it below:

It’s funny, as I watch it, I feel like I am learning from myself.   Seeing myself work, rather than being in the moment.  It’s kinda weird, but kinda interesting too.

I am in love with this page.  That’s sometimes really hard to say, isn’t it?  We usually see the things we could fix or do differently.  Do better.  But I keep going back to look at it.  To touch it.  To look at the details closer.  And I feel happy each time I see it.  That’s gotta be a good sign, right?

Coral. xo

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