Sometimes, when things are changing; when you need courage – you need something to hold on to. Something to give you the strength you aren’t sure you can muster. For me, it’s an anthem.
I was once sitting at traffic lights, rocking my little heart out and a car full of 20 year old surfer guys edged forward. It was enough to catch my eye and as I looked over, all of them started busting out some moves, imitating me. I was officially dying of embarrassment and literally had no where to go. I swear, that light took forever to change. Seriously… forever.
So that gives you an idea of how much I love a good car concert. I’m Beyonce when I’m in the car all by myself. (Aren’t we all?) You know what it’s like. The right song can make you feel things and take you places. It can take you straight back to high school, to your first crush, to break ups. To road trips, to birthdays, to big transitions. It can make you cry or make you feel invincible. And right now… I’m craving invincible.
2018 was very transformative for me and 2019 is continuing to make me expand in so many ways already. Everything is ramped up to 11. Everything is so intense. And while it is taking me to places I’m excited to go, I know I have to walk it alone. And that’s the part that’s daunting. Because I know how big this is. Walking a barely lit path into the forest. Swimming out into the deep. I know my kindreds can’t come with me. Not for what I’m embarking on. And so, I have turned to my anthems.
What would Star Wars be, without THAT music. Rocky without Eye of the Tiger ( or THAT episode of Supernatural). When there is an epic tale, there is always epic music to go with it. I think personal anthems can come and go. When they lose their power, you gotta change them out. Don’t keep them for sentimentality. This is not the place or time for that.
My current anthems are Kesha – Learn To Let Go. She wrote it about her contract court case. Where her manager was abusing her and refused to cancel her contract, insisting she continue to meet her obligations which also allowed him to continue to abuse her. It’s about not holding on to damage inflicted by others. Banishing your demons. If I’m walking into this new territory, I can’t be dragging my past behind me. Trust me, that’s a shit tonne of baggage I can’t be bringing with me. I will wear my battle scars with pride, but the wounds cannot be left open. Strength vs destruction.
Shawn Mendes – In My Blood. The drum beat in this is the call of the warrior. Building as the song goes. I am a rock god and a percussion expert when this one is on. But the words – sometimes I feel like giving up, but I just can’t. It isn’t in my blood. Can I get an amen?! Because sometimes this path I’m walking feels too big for me.
Claire Bowditch – Amazing Life. I saw her sing this live a year or so ago. No recording comes close to how she sounds in person. And she is a storyteller – you know how much I’m totally digging that. The story she told that brought her to this song was a call to the lost. Especially if you are in a day job that just doesn’t fit. (oh hello there…) You don’t have to be just one thing… but you have to start with something.
My latest love is New Romantics by Taylor Swift. Because I could build a castle, out of all the bricks they threw at me. Oh my god yes. Yes Yes Yes. Every day is like a battle. The best people in life are free. So many ways to interpret this. And each one has meaning that I’m feeling so deeply right now.
There are other anthems coming along with me too – the anthem playlist is ever growing. Because maybe I don’t just need an anthem. For something this important; this raw and honest and deep – a whole playlist in my holster may be what I need. One song can only take me so far. The right songs make me believe I’m invincible. Like I have my warrior armour on and I’m coming for everything I want. Because this part of my life is becoming my time. I’m no longer sitting on the sidelines cheering for others. Lifting others up then being left behind. Cowering while others claim their space. Now, I’m on this one person mission. And I need music I feel down to my bones to drive me there. Yes, I’m coming.