Me + Fun
Lots of people are working on their One Little Word for this year. Choosing words like Permission, Explore, Thrive and Trust. Words that will help them work towards their goals. Words that mean they say yes. Yes to that online workshop they’ve wanted to do forever. Yes to starting their blog to share their heart with the world. Or opening their Etsy shop to share their creative soul.
But my word means I’m being selfish this year. In the nicest possible way, of course.
I’m turning the big 4-0 in a couple of days.
And if I don’t have a year for me this year, then when do I get one? I’ve put myself last for a long time. I think it’s a girl thing. We look after everyone else first and leave nothing for ourselves.
I gave everything to That Day Job for a long time and my personal life would get what was left. But in the last 2 years, I’ve discovered that means nothing to the people you have given your everything to. You don’t even get a thank you after 10 years of service. Seriously, not even a thank you.
Looking after a sick husband, being the lean on girl for friends. running the house, running two blogs, working with designers and manufacturers for my stamps and trying to learn so many new things all at the same time – it’s no surprise there was less than nothing left for myself.
And my solution was to comfort eat.
Needless to say, it’s left me feeling empty on the inside and overflowing on the outside.
If I tried to do something that wasn’t easy the first time, I would give up. Put it in the “go back to it another day” box. Because it wasn’t fun. And because I had nothing left in the tank to experiment and play and go with the flow. I needed it to be perfect first time so I could just get on with it.
But in September and October last year, I did 2 “in person, real life, get your hands painty” art workshops.
And my world changed.
With Chrissy Foreman Cranitch – I felt bliss the whole day. I can’t remember ever feeling like that before that day. Such serenity and clarity. No sense of time. An inner calmness instead of my usual frantic, everything has to be perfect way. I realized that working artists get to feel like this a lot. And it made me want this life more than ever before. Imagine getting to feel like this on a weekday?
With Jane Davenport – I got to see my dream life in person. I got to see the life of a working artist up close. The stockroom for her online store. Her studio filled with art supplies and camera equipment for filming. I made art that was effortless and was so very me. I got to play. The whole weekend washed over me and through me like an afternoon spring breeze, blowing away the cobwebs built up over 40 years.
How did I not see life could be like this before now?
You can imagine it until the cows come home. But when you experience your dream life, you get it. You truly get what you heart has been calling you to do.
So in 2014, I want more of that.